Extreme Case of Deference to Mommy

zarby · Apr 10, 2006, 10:09 PM

The mother testifies about seeing "orbes" (apparently floating spheres) suffering delusions as a result of years of meth use.

The father pays extra so the child who has various learning disabilities can attend a special school. Mom takes the money and doesn't pay the school. The school is owed $8,000. When dad gets an order that he pay the school directly to avoid this, mom refuses to take the kid to the school Amazingly, the school is willing to teach kid even though owed $8,000.

The mother denies visitation. The boy although 15 hasn't been in school for roughly a year. The mom then disappears with the boy. The father does not have a clue where the mom or the boy is. The mother lives completely off child support having no job. The father contemplates not paying the child support so the mother will have to surface. He knows this strategy is risky because he will technically be in contempt if he doesn't pay. It doesn't even occur to ask where the child support is being mailed to. He just assumes that the child support people will conceal her whereabouts. Of course, his assumption is very well founded.

He notes that the trial court doesn't completely support her. He says the trial court has repeatedly told her put the kid in school, to allow visitation, etc. However, the trial court more pleads with her than orders her. She knows the trial court will not actually do anything to her. He shows no real disrespect to the trial court but says "I think maybe she has had enough." I think maybe she is ready to do something now. I respond well, if she doesn't it is nearing too late -- the kid will be an adult in roughly 2 years.

He says the kid will not even talk to him. He doesn't really have much hope in having a good relationship with the kid. The kid believes he is tormenting his mom. He just wants the kid in school so the kid can grow up to be something other than a bum. The did with learning disabilities and no education does not face a promising future to say the least.

He takes his visitation orders to the police. They say "we don't care much about that law" (interference with visitation is a crime). It is our policy just to take a report. We will be happy to take a report. He knows if he didn't comply with court orders relative to custody he would go to jail.

Well, I will try. I can't promise anything. It is really up to the judge. If she refuses to do anything and to let mom off with just a request one more time there is not really much that can be done.

zarby · Apr 10, 2006, 10:29 PM

By the way, this man is from a city 400 miles away. Why does he end up in my office. He lives in a metropolitan area of several million people yet he says he could not find anybody to help him there. He had paid a number of lawyers but they had done nothing. He heard there was some crazy lawyer on the other side of the state who might do something.

There just is no infrastructure to help men in this situation. Of course, if the roles were reversed and somehow his ex-wife having a politically correct accusation against him, she would have government funded lawyers and she would have court relief within literally hours and 10 squad cars to enforce it. If he does cut off the child support, it is entirely possible that all hell breaks loose despite the history of this matter and his good intentions (trying to get the kid in school).

Of course, it is a crime not to have your kid in school (or properly home schooled). Well, some women just seem totally above the law.

Virtue · Apr 10, 2006, 10:30 PM

Well, my first thought is that if the child hasent been in school, you could go for a contributing to the delinquancy of a child or truancy?......I only am familiar with CA law so I am not sure about your state.....just bouncing ideas that you have probably already thought of.

Virtue · Apr 10, 2006, 10:31 PM

Gah well there goes the Truancy Idea.....Unless you could locate her and notify the school district that she lives in.....schools go NUTS when they find out there is more $$ to be had from a student not enrolled in their school.

BRIAN · Apr 11, 2006, 01:57 AM

Zarby,

You mean there were lawyers who took his money and didn't jealously represent him as their client? Could you also file a compliant to which ever agency oversees legal ethics for attorneys in your state? It sounds like there are some lawyers that need t be spanked for bad conduct to me. At any rate you are not the "crazy lawyer across the state" you are the good ethical lawyer across the state. Keep up the good work man.

CaptDMO · Apr 11, 2006, 02:04 AM

Quote from: "zarby"

Well, I will try. I can't promise anything. It is really up to the judge. If she refuses to do anything and to let mom off with just a request one more time there is not really much that can be done.

Oh, there are several approaches to consider, just not ones that may be available within the ethics constraints of your trade.

JoeFin · Apr 11, 2006, 07:50 AM

Since you mentioned the mother has a history of Meth use, I believe there is a greater danger here. Mom has not simply gone under ground but she has found a new connection for her drugs. Meth-cooks love remote locations where they are less likely to be found out. Quite possible Mom has taken up with her new connection/boyfriend.

Also sounds like Mom's drug induced paranoia has been extrapolated onto the kid, seasoned with some Parental Alienation Syndrome as well. The danger here being if indeed Mom is in a new drug rich environment has she since began encouraging the child's drug use as well. Not uncommon, since it is a way for her to control him.

Chances are if Mom is in one of these remote locations she cashes the support check at the same place each month. Check for information on the back of the check. Have the bank investigate any routing numbers found.

I guess we are looking for happy endings here, and frankly that just isn't likely. Many Child Protective Agencies have adopted policies at the behest of feminist organization to over look Mom's drug addiction because of Dad's alleged violence. From my own personal experience here, even when presented with overwhelming evidence of Drug use, and criminality being present in the home, the agency will continue with their "kinder - softer" approach of the big pink elephant in the middle of Mom's living room.

If the afore mentioned is true, and given the circumstances I believe it the most likely scenario, the use of a private investigator willing to go down and dirty to collect a wealth of evidence would be the best course. Of course the Child Protection Agency will fail to act and of course should a federal "We Tip" line be used and the house raided Mom more then likely turns State's evidence and continues in her ways.

I know a couple of men who have overcome all these obstacles and prevailed on behalf of their children, but it was not easy.

Quentin0352 · Apr 11, 2006, 03:38 PM

If he has solid proof of all of this, then I would contact a good investigative reporter at several new papers and TV stations and see if any would be interested in the story. If the judge suddenly faces a bunch of public pressure to end the situation and politicians see it as well, then it stands a chance. The problem is you will need PROOF as well as a reporter actually wiling to do the story and a new agency willing to publicize it. Most likely the judge has a history of this kind of action and by doing this it may help out a lot of others she has been screwing over.