After careful consideration, I decided what women really need is their own "Seven ages of Woman." Men are rightly annoyed that women are demanding continuously more rights but showing no signs of growth in the responsibility department. Male notions of duty, honor etc. come largely from literature. I threw this together in about 20 minutes so knock yourself out if you can top it.
A Gender corrected parody of Act II Scene 7 of Shakespeare's
"As You Like It"
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one woman in her time plays many parts,
Her acts being seven ages.
At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
And then the beaming school-girl, with her satchel
And shining morning face, hand raised, bouncing in her seat,
bursting with answers, thriving in a world of rules and rewards.
And then the teen diva,
Seething like furnace with newfound power to cloud men's minds,
ever daring disaster to see what more her siren's song can bring.
Then a Cosmo-girl
Cell phone ever at her ear; coiffure'd and perpetually dieting,
Jealous of her daughter, sudden and quick in traffic,
Seeking the superwoman reputation, planning her divorce
And then the faded rose
Surgeon, beautician, couture, repeat
With eyes severe and beard and moustache waxed,
And so she plays her part.
The sixth age shifts
Full of the wisdom of her years and vocal cords going strong
Freed of feminine expectations
Longing to control the lives of those around her
Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
