I have a nephew who is about 22, I'll call him "Jeff." He is a "baller" in his own words; a star football player with a scholarship at a Midwestern university. At least he did have a scholarship, and a bright future. What changed this young man's prospects was poor sperm management. He impregnated a young woman he had "hooked up" with. She was a "friend with privileges" as they say nowadays, let's call her "Linda."
The same young woman who took a "no strings attached" approach to sex is now demanding to know Jeff's intentions for the future. (DNA results are in, it's his.)
If Linda's family has it in mind to entrap my nephew in order to cash in on a lot of professional sports paychecks, they have terrible timing. Jeff has not yet arrived as an NFL prospect and could easily be one of the many, MANY also-rans. Linda's demands revolve around my nephew's emotional "obligations." Her parents would be happy if he dropped out of school and took a minimum wage job today.
I want to corral all the young men I know and hammer some advice into their hormone addled brains but I also want to play out a scenario that can be traced to the old T.V. show "Dallas." The Ewings of the classic nighttime soap had three strapping sons, the youngest of which knocked up his low-rent girlfriend. Rather than allow their high-born but low-achieving son to be held ransom for the rest of his life, the powerful and wealthy Ewings took charge of the situation. They kidnapped the newborn granddaughter and handed the girlfriend a one-way bus ticket to Dontcomeback, USA. The granddaughter grew up to be the fetching Lucy of my teenaged fantasies.
What would happen if my nephew's family approached Linda's family and said "Your financial worries are over. We will take full physical and legal custody of the baby. You will have no role in this child's life so get on with your own."
This is the near mirror image of what happens to men with a couple of differences. First, the woman spends nine months gestating the child which is not a small detail. Second, there is always the assumption that women are entitled by sperm to have access to a man's wallet. For myself, I can't think of a better bargain than to forego whatever money a woman might contribute in exchange for being DONE with her. The child would go to a loving family and Linda's parents could pretend the whole thing never happened.
Why don't we see this kind of arrangement happening at least SOME of the time?
