If you want to know where women in general get their jollies, look at romance novels. They are basically soft porn. It is far more in women's heads; how men speak, act, and treat her are far more important than looks. Yet women are no better than men at objectifying and looking for perfection. They just choose different traits.
Women want to feel in love, they have bought into the romance trap of needing to be pursued to feel in love. When a couple get married, both the woman and the man change their behavior. The man no longer pursues, so the little things he may have done while dating stop. A woman is no longer putting her best face forward and agreeing with everything the man said, and her own ideals and her imperfections come out. Both of these combine for the woman not being as interested, and the man feeling like he got the shaft.
Add in that while I know many here complain that women get fat after marriage, they are not the only ones.
I know that while I was intensely attracted to Dave when we were dating he started gaining weight after we married. 50 lbs later he looked nothing like the man I married, and I was completely turned off. In the last few years I have made major strides in changing my views because I love and respect Dave and our marriage, and have learned to find big guys attractive. At the same time Dave works very hard at the gym to keep in shape. Not every woman is willing or able to do this. Not every man is either.
If you look at women's porn, you will notice that costume is important-the man's 'job' is usually featured. And Lawyer, Doctor and CEO are not the jobs featured. Fireman, cowboy, policeman are the uniforms one finds, because strength, a soft side for the underdog, a night in shining armor are what women desire. The money is nice by nothing says hard nipples like a hero.
Kinda sad in a way, for all that feminism has attempted to reprogram us, all it takes is a half naked man in a fireman's hat holding a dal puppy to make us all swoon (well, make it bully puppy for me!)